Monday, April 7, 2014

Coming to Terms with Rejection

Let me preface this blog post by saying how proud I am of every Miss California Class of 2014 contestants. A lot of you are my dear friends, some I've been competing with from the very start, rooting for you as you've competed. I am proud of the girls that tried so hard to make it into the class, whether you have competed at Miss California or not, just know that I am proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself, too. While it's hard to deal with your own emotions when you are faced with disappointment, we should truly be supporting our sisters who are working hard at their dreams. And if you can't say that now, hey, you've got a little time until June! Keep trying!!

This weekend, as many of those in pageantland already know, was the Miss California 2014 Orientation. As I reflected fondly on my memories last year at orientation, I couldn't ignore the deep feeling of sadness that I've had brewing down inside. I have related these last few weeks as riding huge waves (of emotion) in the ocean while desperately searching for a boat. Of course, I had my pig out week, which rolled into my lonely week, which also happened to become my hysterical crying "I forgot to do one small assignment" day (week). I had an incredible weekend, a pretty okay week, and then it was this weekend. I watched in anticipation as titleholders posted pictures at orientation, or their official headshots, or the adorable purple Class shirts that I will admit, am insanely jealous that I didn't get one. While it's hard to know I won't be at Miss California competing this year, I know that I would not be ready. Yes, I wish that I could listen in on Bob's current events sessions, or perform my talent piece in front of Donna and the gang, or do a walking workshop with Agnes again, or have Linda do my makeup. But I don't know if I would appreciate it as much as I will...when I get to go back.

I talked to God and I gave him a goal. He is doing me a huge favor. From rejection comes triumph. While I am disappointed I will not be there in June, I am preparing harder than I ever have before. When I think of someone who persevered and made their dreams come true, I think of Leah Cecil. She was 1st runner up her first time at Miss California, then came back and took the crown. There was and still is something special about Leah. God saw it, and he knew the right timing to let her achieve her dreams. You have to trust in God's timing.

I'm going to set a challenge myself every day. Whether it is physically (which trust me, I have been!), mentally, intellectually, or vocally. I want to challenge my creativity. Today as I was walking home from class, I told myself, "Angela, you want to do something big. You don't want to settle. How are you going to get there?" I am going to get there. Wherever "there" is...I just know it'll be brilliant.

Thanks for reading :)

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